When we found out that Lauren would be born with Down syndrome, I admit that I felt a lot of "Why me?" or "Why us?" I wondered what the heck we did to deserve it. I wondered why WE were the ones being stuck with a "broken" baby when drug addicts and complete morons are given healthy children.
Then I moved on to "Why not me?" and "Why not us?" We are no better than anyone else and that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Some people just get the short end of the stick.
Now I can honestly say I'm back at "Why me?" and "Why us?" but for completely different reasons...
Why me? Why us? What in the world did we do to deserve a living miracle? What have I done in my life that makes me worthy of such an amazing child to raise? We are no better than anyone else. So why did we get so damn lucky?
Lauren is barely 7 weeks old and has overcome a long hospital stay, sepsis, a collapsed lung, open heart surgery... How could anyone believe...how could I believe that she is somehow "less"? Less than what I deserve, less than what I need, less than what I wanted, less of a person, less mine. Lauren is so much more than anything I could've imagined for myself. So much more than I thought I wanted in a daughter. She is a living miracle. She is perfect.
Every time I look at her I am overcome with pride that she is my daughter, that I get to be her mom. I am so proud of her accomplishments. I am proud of every breath she takes.