Christmas has come and gone and Santa was good to all of us! Ryan got Legos, action figures, Oculus, money, a Nerf gun, a laser tag set...all great stuff. Lauren got books, a new game called Picky Kitty that she loves, a food truck, a Gabby's Dollhouse, a baby doll, a Polly Pocket, some My Little Pony toys, etc. Both kids really seemed to enjoy the holiday and we were so thankful to be able to safely gather with family.
Both kids are vaccinated. It went totally fine for Ryan. He said after his second dose the next day he had chills really bad but he had a math test at school, so he toughed it out. So proud of him! He's a kid who in the past has used any excuse under the sun to get out of school. He and I have had some great time together lately! A couple weeks ago he and I went out to dinner and to Target together just the two of us. Today we went shopping together again. Lauren's second vaccine was complicated because she got COVID between doses. She got pretty sick after her second dose and had fatigue and some vomiting. She was right as rain within a couple hours of waking the next day. My parents are the real MVPs for hanging out with her while she was feeling the effects from her vaccine so we could both work.
I've resolved over the last couple of months to try and be a little more hands on with Lauren and allow less screen time. This is challenging because usually screen time is the only way I can get a minute to myself. So we've been playing more games (Yahtzee, Candy Land, Picky Kitty) and we've been encouraging her to play with her toys (obviously easier since now she has a bunch of new ones). Today was 45 degrees and sunny so I took her to the park, then to the grocery store. She did great at the park! She climbed a ton of stuff, tried new things, and was basically a gross motor superstar. The original plan was a bigger grocery store but behaviorally she was struggling some, so we went to a smaller local store instead. The price increase to shop there isn't always worth it, but it was today. Haha.
We're still working on the CPAP. We've had it almost 2 weeks and so far we're only using it in the kitchen for a maximum of 1 hour with all the lights on while watching YouTube. I think it's pretty claustrophobic for her. She had a complete panic/anxiety attack the first time we tried and she was still shaking like a leaf after 15 minutes of cuddles and back rubs (mask off at that point). I felt horrible for her! So we're taking it slow. We took a couple days off because of Christmas. Tonight the plan is to try it in her bed (while I'm with her) while she watches her nightly Daniel Tiger video. Because she is so tough, I think it can be easy to forget that medical trauma can be a very real thing and she's been through a lot in her little life so far. Her last surgery in December 2019 involved me walking her back to the OR (we thought it would be easier for her to walk in willingly), her refusing Versed to calm her down, and me helping restrain her with the mask over her face. So it's not at all surprising to me that a CPAP is a hard sell for her. She's also wearing nighttime braces on her legs (alternating one each night), so it's an added layer of crap we expect her to do while sleeping. She hasn't been sleeping too horribly lately, but she did wake up one night this week singing LOUDLY at 3am, then 4am and she was absolutely convinced it was morning. If she doesn't sleep, I don't sleep. Mama is tired. A great night is no wakes ups, a good night is one quick wake up. She's been having stomach aches since she got COVID in mid-November, which is also affecting sleep. I'm trying to be super strict about her diet to help her belly feel better and to help with her overall health (over-eating is a big concern and food is a comfort for her I think).
I'm finding myself trying to have more patience and extend grace when Lauren is struggling behaviorally. Sometimes I just don't know if it's really behavioral, if it's communication, if it's anxiety about medical stuff, if it's just being upset about not getting her way. I can find myself having to really try to enjoy her company and it feels unkind, so I'm trying to extend myself some grace as well. It can be really hard to balance grace with necessary discipline. This is highlighted by us being together a whole lot last week and this week because of the school break! We've hired two amazing caregivers that have been so helpful. Once comes the two mornings I work and it's super helpful because I cannot get myself ready and keep Lauren occupied and expect to leave my house on time. We have another caregiver who comes usually one evening a week and they play games, do arts and crafts, eat dinner together, read, etc while I escape for a little bit. Sometimes that's just napping, sometimes it's going for a walk, sometimes it's going out to dinner with Greg, sometimes it's hanging out with Ryan. It's so amazing and I'm so thankful we're able to do it.
Food truck fun!
