Two years

Two years ago we were so excited to walk into our ultrasound and find out whether we'd be bringing home a perfect baby boy or a perfect baby girl. I was practically floating I was so excited.

We walked out absolutely devastated. At 18 weeks we'd just found out our daughter had Down syndrome. I had an amnio to confirm but the doctors were confident in the diagnosis we were faced with. I remember the walk to the car felt incredibly long and Greg had to physically support me to get me there. I felt like everything I'd know had just changed in an instant and it just wasn't fair. I sobbed. I remember calling my mom on the way home and I could barely say it out loud. Down syndrome. It felt like a dirty word.

That was one of the darkest days of my life, second only to Lauren's open heart surgery day.

It seems almost impossible how far we've come in the last two years. We went from absolute devastation to pure joy. We couldn't imagine a life with a special needs child and now I truly can't imagine our lives without her. She is our sunshine in a world that can, at times, be constantly cloudy. How did we ever exist without her? I feel like she's always been mine.

The anniversary of this day will always be so important to me because it was the start of a rapid transformation within myself that, while I didn't realize it at the time, would make me a better person. How did we possibly get so lucky? She's blessed our family beyond measure. Ryan and Lauren are thick as thieves and behave like totally typical siblings, which is something I never expected.

Today I am beyond thankful for unanswered prayer and veiled blessings.

 

 

Also, I got an exciting tattoo today that relates directly to our sweet girl and her extra chromosome! I realize not everybody likes tattoos, but I do :)

 

These are Lauren's actual 21st chromosomes, taken directly from her karyotype! I couldn't imagine a better time to get this tattoo. It's on my inner arm right below the bend in my arm.