I am a firm believer that a positive attitude can carry you a long way in this life. I firmly believe that our positive attitudes in the delivery room made Lauren's birth the best experience of my life. (Sorry Ryan! You scared the crap out of me with the dropping heart rate. Good thing you came out adorable!)
I think my positive attitude is what makes me a (generally) happy person. I could bitch about not having enough money, our house being to small, the dog being annoying (oh, wait, I DO bitch about the dog being annoying!), having too much stuff to do and too little time, trying to juggle working full time at night when most people sleep and then trying to find time to sleep when most people are awake etc..
I know my blog is mostly puppies and rainbows. I get it. It's not that life isn't hard! Having a kid with a disability is really tough sometimes. I was just recently talking to Greg about it on the way to church on Sunday, actually. Sometimes it's hard to relate to my mommy friends with typical kids. Lauren is way, way behind in every area except cuteness. Sometimes it feels like I live on a completely different parenting planet because of it.
Sometimes I way overindulge Ryan because I feel bad that Lauren's appointments and therapy take so much time away from him. What if he never feels as important? What if he can't relate to her and they aren't friends as adults? What if he feels less important? What if he feels more important?
So, it's not that I don't get it. I do. These are the questions that keep me up at night.
But you know what I think about even more than all of that?
You'll probably never find joy if you don't look for it!
Life heaps enough struggles on us without us having to go and look for more! Joy? Not always as much. I could be so angry at the person who stole my parking spot at Kroger. But I could also realize that it's frankly not that big of a deal and go park my car somewhere else. I could harbor sadness and resentment and anger over my sweet daughter facing additional struggles in this life. Or I could teach her to look for joy. I can teach both of my kids to appreciate positivity. Put more positivity into this world than negativity.
So, as for me and my kids, we're looking for joy.