Welcome to my blog!

A blog about our busy family with two amazing kids, one of whom happens to have Down syndrome!

Monday, July 2, 2012

How we told everyone

For a lot of families who find out that their new baby has Down syndrome, telling people is a very tough thing to do. Nobody knows the right words to say, especially when emotions are going full force and you're trying to wrap your mind around a diagnosis and what it means for your future.

We chose to tell our parents and let them tell our parents and aunts/uncles. Everbody else got a mass text message or email. For us, it was very hard to say it out loud at first: Our baby has Down syndrome. I couldn't say it without dissolving into tears for a long while.

Here is a copy of the message we sent:

First of all, as you all heard, we are having a baby girl! We've decided to share her name, too. We are naming her Lauren!

We got some surprising news about our baby girl at our appointment on Monday.  She definitely has Down syndrome.  First of all, I want you to know that we are 100% thrilled that we get to be her parents and cannot wait to meet her in February!!

I also want you to know that its okay to have mixed feelings, sadness, confusion and lots of questions at first. But know that we are excited! God is giving Lauren to us for a reason and WE are the lucky ones.

I am open to answering any and all questions! If I don't know the answer I'll be happy to find out for you because chances are I should know too :)  It is definitely not a secret, I just wasn't sure how/when to tell everyone and it's easier for me to let all my friends know at once.

Thank you all so much for your love, prayers and support!

We were not planning to share her name originally but we felt it would help people see her as a person if they knew her name, not just a scary diagnosis. And we'd had a pretty good guess that she was a girl for the past 3 weeks and had her name chosen before we even got pregnant, I was dying to tell people her name!

The reason we personally chose to tell everybody about Lauren's diagnosis right away instead of waiting until her birth, letting word spread or not saying anything at all (A prenatal diagosis is hard in it's own way and the choice is personal-the right choice in regards to sharing the news is different for every family) is that we didn't want people to gossip. We wanted people to know that we knew ahead of time and were choosing to keep our baby. We didn't want any confusion about what we might've done if we had the chance. We had the chance. It was never a question that Lauren would be welcomed with open arms. We wanted everyone to have the chance to get over the shock, like we needed to do, and get excited for Lauren's arrival. We wanted them to hear it from us!

Who knew that in the midst of our fear, worry, sadness and anger that we were getting our little Lauren Hope? We truly are the lucky ones!

3 comments:

  1. That is an excellent way to go about it. We were a post birth diagnosis so we did an email as well. I think you are right about everything you said in this post. In my experience the tone of the parents is very important in the way people react to the news and to them. You came across as happy but realistic that people will have to get used to the news just like you did. Good Job! love the sleepy picture!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You did a great job sharing the news. We received an after birth diagnosis. I honestly don't remember how most people were told. She's such a cutie!

    ReplyDelete
  3. very similar to our letter we sent out two weeks ago. I have truly enjoyed reading your blog and seeing the faith yall have had since your a few months ahead of us. Thanks, for sharing.

    ReplyDelete